two very long days at work, but came home and my puppins made me laugh so hard.

I got nothing else. Too tired.

It is so easy to take for granted everyday things in your life. The sun, a hug, a kind word, or even how happy your dogs get when you come home from work. Be present and embrace every moment, because the moments might not be there again. I miss the sun so much now, I miss my Millie grabbing her toy telling me hello when I come home, I miss people in my life that aren’t there anymore. I wish I had done and said so many things that I didn’t. So I am learning to live fully in the present, to laugh and be happy even in the midst of grey. I am glad there are no rules or limits on life, only the ones we give it…Be Present and laugh often. My thoughts for the day.

“Let the emphasis be on the now in everything. What you do now is extremely important – the decisions you make in this instant, the way you act, the way you think. As you do this, you find yourself changing and expanding. You can become God-filled, God-minded, God-guided as you take this breath now. This is the most wonderful and uplifting thought possible. You literally feel yourself rising in the sheer joy of it. This is where the complete change can come. You need never be the same again. Old habits, old thought forms and ties can be cut this instant and you can become a transformed person – a triumphant being.

You want to be different? You can be, and you can be perfect now. This is a breathtaking thought. You need never, never be the old self again. You are now in the process of building the light-body, raising the vibrations so that every cell in your body is changing. You are becoming light.”

~Eileen Caddy
via Swirly’s blog

also another great post by Swirly…go here.

Today was much needed sunshine, except I was working all day. Dearest Sun, I am sorry that for so long I said I could live without you – I can’t. I need you…come back.

I am making a plan. yes…a plan.

Edi has found her special place…the heater. I finally put a little bed over there and when the heater comes on she runs over and lays down. pretty cute…

She has her heater and I have my hot coffee. hehe. brr….

I have a possible phone interview in the next couple days…I hope. Think good thoughts for me.
Not feeling so well. I think I will go to bed. arg!

I try to be positive lately on the blog and in my life, but sometimes in the midst of all that I still have to face the blue and push it aside or try and deal with it. I honestly can’t say that I am in love with Portland, although, sometimes I hear it takes a long while to adjust. I am still waiting for that wow factor, but it hasn’t come yet. The “aha, this is it…this is the place of amazement and wonder. The place I will find love, live fully and all things will be wonderful.” I have wanted to come here for so long that I told myself that Portland was my saving grace. Don’t say that can’t exist, it has happened to me once. But at the same time of that “wow moment”, I was coming out of a very dark place and L.A at the time seemed like heaven with my new friends, the music, my job, the ocean, the sun and life was just amazing there for awhile.

I will give it time because I want it to be so, maybe now it is just hard with the rain, my job, my neighborhood and feeling so lonely. I thought my job would be my stress relief, but alas, I am a little concerned about it. I won’t take life so seriously though. I tend to treat everything like it is life or death in a manic way and that fact is, though, that it isn’t. Maybe if I get out more and listen to live music or go get coffee or a drink and try to meet people. I am the best hibernator, but I like being home…is that so bad? dunno, I do have to do my part for trying with this place and until then, I don’t really have the right to rag on it…right?!

I need to push myself like I never have before to accomlish my dreams. Take the steps, believe and MAKE IT HAPPEN. I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk my dogs and have our farm, have a baby someday and a successful business. Right now, this is not happy, but a transistion to really push myself to get out of the crap I have put myself in for the last few years. I have a lot of digging and a lot of soul searching and a lot of hard- HARD work ahead of me…discipline and whatever it takes to stop the self sabatoge. I know we all deal with that. I think I will get out the Artist way and The war of art and read to help with my search and push through the blocks.  It will happen, I keep trying, but I need to try harder and stronger. I am at a point now where there is no option.

I guess it was just a moment I needed to be my raw self, to be naked and undressed in my words, because I know that I am not alone. We all have dreams, especially artists. We paint or work on things, but then nothing.  From a quote that The Edge said from a video I posted the other day, “waiting for something magic to happen. -MAKE IT HAPPEN… Make magic.

Today was a pretty amazing, lazy Sunday. We actually slept in which I haven’t done in months and took a nap later in the day with Jack and Honey. It has been drizzling and grey all day, so it was a perfect day for staying inside and cuddling. I guess I felt relief today, b/c I now have a job and a bit of stress has been taken off me. I also had a wonderful conversation with my friend C. about taking some classes for people that want to start small businesses. She has so many amazing projects it will be good for both of us to focus and make things happen. I am trying to finish my scarf tonight, so I can start some other projects and whew! I guess besides all the napping today, it has been pretty productive. All the dogs got massages, sally her exercises and lots of cuddling and love. A pretty good start for the week. I am happy about it at least…

I just read my horoscope today from the Daily OM. It is so right on. I do feel so blessed right now with such amazing kids, a job prospect, new direction in my creative life and such. It has been an incredible rough couple years losing Millie, changing jobs, changing states, losing a loved one to death and one to a move, Sally – I could go on. However, now I choose to move forward. To make things reality, not just a dream. I am making room in my life for love, creativeness, prosperity and all good things. Like on Oprah yesterday the big quote was “joy rising”.

October 23, 2009
Attitude of Abundance
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope

You may feel ambitious today and have the desire to improve your level of prosperity. While your ambition could be the driving force behind your success, it can also make you overly aggressive regarding accumulating material objects. You may find it beneficial to focus instead on creating a mind-set of abundance, which will help you feel more prosperous. Simply find a quiet place where you can be alone and release all worries from your mind. Spend some time today thinking about the abundance you already have in your life. Think about each of your blessings, and reflect on the ways they enhance your life on a daily basis. Allow yourself to feel thankful for these blessings, and know that this positive focus will continue to attract further abundance to you.

Choosing to foster a mind-set of abundance creates an attitude of prosperity that can attract more abundant circumstances. Because we tend to create what we focus our thoughts on, focusing on lack will continue to make us feel as if we are lacking in some area. If we can instead choose to focus on the abundance we already have, we will be emitting positive energy that can actually attract more abundance. We are then consciously affirming to the universe that we welcome wealth and abundance in all forms, and we increase the likelihood that prosperity will manifest in our lives. Combine your strong ambition with an attitude of abundance today, and you can put forth powerful energy to attract the prosperity you desire.

It has been super busy the last couple days. I feel of wave of yummy coming on…

I have been talking about some redirection coming about in my life. Here are some inspiring blogs I have been absorbing lately…

latartinegourmande

stilllifewith

nordljus

crochet fridgies

Yes, they are food blogs. Don’t they just look yummy. I miss baking so much and I plan to start back very soon. I think Pies and tarts sound like the pastry I want to perfect. My lens is going in next week, so hopefully I will be back soon to shooting some puppins.

OHHHHH!!! and one of the most talented photographers – my friend Sarah Ause made an awesome dog book on Blurb and entered it into a contest. Go look at it and then VOTE HERE. It would also make an awesome Christmas present for dog lovers so go BUY it too!

by Sarah Ause